"I would give anything to have that happen again," my grandmother said, her eyes lighting up, a crystallized teal.
"What would you like to happen grandma?"
"An orgasm in my sleep. That was some good shit."
She took a long drag from her Virginia slim cigarette and ran her hand over one of her white pigtails.
"Ah, okay," I smiled to my mother who was enthusiastically grinning over the subject.
"The bitch is on the porch," my grandmother looked at the back door. My mother stood up to let the dog inside.
"Your mother used to masturbate in her crib when she was a baby. She would straddle the crib bars and just start kicking her legs and grunting. I would ask her, 'what the hell are you doing, kid?'"
"Who knows, mom" my mother's face was pink as she tried not to laugh.
"Weird, mom." I checked my phone for a text message.
"It's normal."
"Oh, sure, sure mom."
"So," my grandmother asked, "how's Italy?"
Nice one! Zing! I reformatted and regularized the punctuation and put in the tags--hope that's ok. I think that if it were my text, I would cut grandma's line about "that was some good shit." It's funnier, odder without further comment--although it makes her rather strangely ghetto. As usual this would be better over all in the present tense.
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