Today I saw a man kill himself
I guess I'm unsure of his success
rather,
today I witnessed a man's attempt
to end his own life
As I drove
towards offshore islands
hiding behind the stillness of afternoon haze,
through golden, coastal hills
hovering between blue skies and seas,
there was a truck stopped
on a freeway overpass
facing on-coming traffic
I watched the driver-side door open,
a man in a Tyvek jumpsuit
quickly made his way to the railing
where he tried his hand at flight,
head-first
I made my way over the bridge
passing gawking eyes in idling cars
making frantic phone calls
As I pulled onto the southbound 101
some asshole wouldn't let me merge
I couldn't believe it
>>I tried to post this the other day,
but the internets were all messed up.
cheers.
gt
Wow! Scary. It's a pleasure to read you after so many years, grant! However, I see that you still say just a bit too much: I would cut the second stanza--just say that you saw a man kill himself and then launch into the narrative letting the inconclusive non-splatter ending catch us by surprise naturally. Also I would change "There was a truck" out of the passive voice for a more colorful verb (wink!) Let's see some more!
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