Thursday, January 5, 2012

Quantifying the Rock

I spoke with a friend of mine, a Phd student of economics at American University about our mutual lack of desire for a romantic relationship, yet our equal interest in those of others. I explained to him that a friend of mine was upset because her boyfriend had never had sex before her. She was annoyed that she was his only experience.
"Is the sex bad?" I asked her.
"It's amazing".

Isn't that strange? I asked my friend on the phone. Strange that the relationship is perfect and the sex is great yet somehow she's bothered that he's "without experience".

"Exchange theory" I said, "we value difficulty. Rare things are valuable like diamonds for example. Sure they have warehouses full of the things but the market is controlled to make them seem less common and for because of that they're desirable and expensive".

My friend was quiet for a moment and thought about it, "but if he's never had sex before her wouldn't that make him more valuable, rare, and more important?" He asked. I thought about it.

"No. No, because men cannot have sex whenever they want. They are like rocks. Women can have sex whenever they want and in the world of sex they are diamonds. So, for a man to have 'tried and failed' that is not 'rare or desirable'. In fact it's sad. If we wanted to quantify love the only way to do it is by partners. Men who have had many partners are more successful, more unique, it quantifies their characters strengths, and because men don't come by sex nearly as easy as women potentially could their value goes up. However, women can have sex any moment of their life with most people they would like and therefore the desired number is lower, which shows they are difficult. All difficult things are desired."

"Did you compare men to rocks"
"Yes, it's a decent comparison. I use it frequently".
"in fact...that's why you value our friendship".
"Yes. Rocks are always pursuing the diamonds. Way of the world".


  1. And yet if one has had other lovers one's partner is eternally jealous of them. We want what is prized but want it in a vacuum of selfishness.