Here's the short story I've been working on lately--just click on this text to go there--if anybody has time over the holiday to give it a read--or anytime--I'd love to get some feedback. It's something of a risk/experiment so I'm curious if it works for y'all.   --Lee

Texts Inspired by Florence?

Dear creative Writers,

The Florence Newspaper, English-language monthly for the city of gelato and the De Medici, is looking to continue the "literature Corner" section that they began last month by serializing my short story "Under the One and Only Sun in a Place Called Tuscany." They are now accepting submissions of fiction and poetry inspired by said city or Tuscany in general so anything you would like to submit for consideration can be done by posting it here on the blog or by emailing it to me (leefoust@gmail.com). Can't wait to see what ya got--I remember so many lovely texts over the years in the course about Florence--dig out yours and share it with the world!

Lee

Sojourner is here!

Hey, everybody,

Your Intrepid Leader has published a book. Seriously! Click on this text to order one. If you are too poor to order one, I will gladly send you one to review as I surely need the publicity. Write me at leefoust@gmail.com. And, by the way: how y'all doin'? I would love to catch up with the many wonderful students who have taken this course over the years. I'll be doing a book tour this summer in the USA so if you wanna see me get in touch--if you could book me at a local bookstore or spoken word series somewhere I will come to your hometown with pleasure! 

Cheers!

Lee

Things I've Learned About Italy

 
I'm often asked to compare Italy to the United States to give people an idea what it's like living here. Obviously, a lot of these things are generalizations since I don't have time or money to start a scientific study. The statistics and stuff I read in books or articles, I didn't make them up. I also cross check this stuff with my husband or Italian friends. So, it might sound like I'm trash talking but truth is that the locals don't dispute what I'm saying here. So, yep. This is Italy.

1. The mother-in-law is the number one cited reason for divorce.

2. The infidelity rate is in the 70% range, yet divorce is only 11%. So, basically, everyone cheats and either doesn't get caught or people do not divorce for cheating. Cheating is also encouraged, rewarded, and approved by peers. One, and the worst example, a man cheating on his pregnant wife in front of his wife's own brother, who hid it from her. Bro's before Ho's y'all!

3. Mammoni is a cultural phenomenon where the mother basically breast feeds the children into their forties. After they stop breast feeding, they send liters of their breast milk to be used as coffee creamer or in cereal. Mostly

4. On average people do not marry until their 30's, and they don't move out of their parents house until they marry. This is mainly due to economic issues and Mammoni.

5. People don't clean up their dogs shit. Ever. If you're in Florence, you should always keep your eyes on the sidewalk. On a different note, everyone in Florence seems to love dogs and they spoil the shit out of them (pun intended, hey oh!). Oliver's head gets rubbed down and molested every four feet while we're on a walk...for more check out survivinginitaly.wordpress.com

Former student Eric Millman has revised his travel-mad book about crossing America in an outfitted school bus. A great read!

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Spoken word Recordings

Spoken word mix tape by some guy.

So, The World Ended

Today, The World Ended

Pink Lady Pink

Poodle Pink

Gazelle

Moving swiftly

Your off-white curves

Carrying you

Elegant dashes of black 

And red reflections whisper

Notice me

Chained to a fence.

Zombie Babies

From My Blog: Surviving In Italy

Me: Honestly I’m not sure I want kids because what if one night I wake up and one of them is standing in the doorway all backlit and I have to wonder if it’s a zombie or not. Because in movies that’s what always happens, then the baby eats the mom.
F: Wait, what the fuck?
Me: I mean, seriously, like Rosemary’s baby? Or that zombie movie that starts with the kid attacking the parents? Hello?
F: [stares blankly]

Me: Or, even worse, what if I just assume the baby was possessed and I threw the ax at it? (I keep a gold ax next to the bed to kill rapists) And it wasn’t. That sounds like some weird psychological thriller too.
F: You. Are. Insane.
Me: Oh come on! Don’t tell me you’ve never thought of how bad it would suck if your baby turned into a zombie and you had to kill it.
F: No. Never….
Me. Really? Well fucking great, now you think I’m insane and I’m going to accidentally kill our babies.
F: [blank stare]
Me. You know what? This is what happens when you make me do all the talking.

Language Is a Virus (from Outer space)

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